Today I’m going to talk about why sometimes regret can be a greater force than gratitude.
Here’s the thing. I was inspired to talk about this because I read this amazing quote from, I think it was Ann Ryan, that said ‘There’s always more flowers at a funeral because regret is more powerful than gratitude.’ I thought about that. It brought me back to a situation many years ago when I went to a funeral.
It was an ex-girlfriend of mine. I recall that in the last few weeks of her life she was, let’s say, depressed by the lack of people in her life, the lack of life, the lack of affinity and the lack of understanding. She felt like nobody cared about her.
It was interesting, because when I went to her funeral so many people got up and spoke about her. They were all remorseful. They were all upset, obviously, and saddened by her passing, and so they spoke about her.
It dawned on me right then, at that moment, that we take people for granted. If she had known exactly how all of those people felt about her, there’s a very good chance that she would still be alive today.
The point I’m trying to make is that we should all be grateful for what we have in our lives at the moment. Yes, we all want more. All of us want more. We want more love, more money, more business, more clients, more of everything, more food, more heat, more water, more everything. We get that. That’s fine. That stuff is available.
Everything that you desire is available, but for heaven’s sake, be grateful for what you have. You’ll never get what you desire if you’re not grateful for what you already have. It’s really important to understand that. The stuff that you want, all of the great things you want in life, only comes about by being grateful for what you already have.
Failure to appreciate and to take for granted the beauty that you have in your life already – and I’m getting quite spiritual here – means that you’re not going to get those things that you desire because you can’t handle what you already have. Does that make sense? You have to be able to handle and appreciate and love and admire what’s in the universe right now for you to obtain the next level of what you desire.
That’s the trick. So many of us are driving around in a shitty car and we hate that shitty car. We don’t look after that car. We don’t clean it, we don’t take care of it. It gets bumped, bruised, scratched, the whole thing. We’re always looking for that beautiful car that we have a poster of; that we look at, that we desire. It sits on our wall, ‘Oh, I want that beautiful $300,000 Ferrari. Screw this car, I don’t want this car.’
Here’s the thing. You’re never going to get the Ferrari. And if you do, trust me, you’ll treat it exactly the same way as the car that you’re driving right now, so that will disappear from you as well.
Be grateful for what you have. There is no room for regret in anyone’s life.
Be grateful for what you have. That’s how you pull in more things. When somebody performs a gesture for you, be grateful, thank them, appreciate them.
I used to hear about this years ago and thought it was this hokey bullshit thing. ‘Come on, I’m a man. What do we have to be grateful for? That’s women’s stuff.’ That’s bullshit. You have to be grateful for everything you have around you.
Most importantly, be grateful for the people in your life. If you want to have more people in your life, be grateful for the ones you already have. Appreciate them, let them know what they mean to you. Every day, let them know what they mean to you, because you don’t know what they’re going through and you don’t know how long you have them for.
That funeral that I went to in 2003 changed my whole life. I sat there and I thought to myself, ‘If only this girl knew how many people actually loved her, admired her, and liked her, she would probably still be alive right now.’
I got disappointed because all of these people were going up to the podium and talking about her, and I thought to myself, ‘Why didn’t you tell her this when she was alive? Why didn’t you share this with her? These tears that you shed right now are too late. They’re just a little too late. She would have loved to have heard the way you felt about her when she was alive.’
I knew at that moment in time, my entire world view had changed. I realised that I’m never going to go through life not telling people how I feel about them. Whether I like them, love them or appreciate them, they’re going to know exactly how I feel about them. I will not miss one opportunity – not one – to put a smile on someone’s face and tell them how I feel about them. That’s the way I appreciate people, that’s the way that I’m grateful for people.
What does this have to do with making money? Everything.
To Your Success